I lost my world


11 months and 26 days...
just 5 more days.... it would be our anniversary.
the day we looked so much forward to in the past...

woke up at around 4 plus in the morning, hoping to see your reply.
But you did not... somehow i already know whats your decision..
switched on my laptop, searched for emo songs.
cry, cry and cry.


then i decided that maybe watching drama would be better.
watched 49 days again
cry again. But i don't know isit because of you or the drama
cried to sleep.

woke up, felt like hearing your voice and the decision from you
so i called you.
was expecting that you would reject my call
but you did not..
i expected that answer although i was hoping it would be something else.

went to sch for project.
i tried not to think of you so i wouldn't cry in the train again
(i really hate it to attract stares from others)
stone like a zombie instead.

you always say im the most important person to you
but i cant feel it.

when you told me you would be working
i was really upset.
but i told myself you need some working experience so i let it go

you told me you will be coming to my place to see me after your dance
i was so happy inside.
i even went to paint my nails to look pretty
but i waited hours and hours
thats when i get the picture of how much i meant to you.

after you left, i told myself if you are able to make it on our anni
i would give our relationship 1 more chance
but you threw it away...

not because they die die also need you
its because i think you enjoy yourself in the camp meetings
my 6th sense told me so.




i know you really love dance... but i wish you could love me more..
give me more of your time
don't say i am demanding...

1 day in a week isn't too much i guess?
i really lower my expectations a lot.

after project, i really feel like training to your work place, give you a hug and tell you i don't wanna leave you anymore.


if you see how much i cried, will you return?



我只好假装 我已不爱了
催眠自己我们不适合
我放开你了 我已不爱了
说一个谎在离别时刻
就当作最后是我不爱了
关上门以后 就算爱你又如何
你快不快乐 过得是否好呢 我这样想着
你在爱谁呢 谁在想你呢
是什么在反覆着 让回忆都翻起了
你是遥远的 我是孤独的...

loving is easy, leaving is hard...


thankyou girls, for being there (L)